I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
