I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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