don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
