yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
