I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
