Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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