Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
