You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize