You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
