Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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