Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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