You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
