Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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