omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The adults are the big ones right?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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