im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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