We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
