Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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