Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
