You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
