Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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