How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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