Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize