haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize