she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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