Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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