I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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