I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
