We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
