what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
