you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
