I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
