What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
and she was petting her beer can
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
