rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
