it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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