it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
