He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
