i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
