What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize