i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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