I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
