And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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