so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
