At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize