Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Randomize
