do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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