I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
