I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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