If i come over, it means nothing
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
