Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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