I have demons in me.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
barbara walters just said penis...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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