Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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