Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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