when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
