I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
