I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
