i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
