Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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