I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
