I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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