I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We need to feng shui this bitch.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
