OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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